Three fine specimens walk into your bar: a blonde, a brunette and a redhead. Your first thought is:
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| "I wonder if those blonde curls are real..."
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| "Forget traffic lights... Red means go!!"
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| To go after the brunette. Can't be too careful with all those weirdoes around...
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| Who cares about their hair? Let's see their feet!
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| Better make a move before I pass out.
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Your ideal one-night fling partner would be:
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| Broad shouldered and good with an axe
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| A lean, clean, licking machine!
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| Hungry and horny enough to chew their way in your house if the door was locked.
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| A sexy set of triplets
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| Showing vital signs on the heart monitor
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Your ideal job would be:
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| Testing rubber mattresses with the partner of your choice
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| Witch hunter! Burn, baby, burn!
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| Breaking into houses just to try out the furniture
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| Bringing meals on wheels to the old folks... you're all charity!
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| Polishing ballroom floors (it's amazing what you can find under the tables!)
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You're in the woods, lost on a company picnic with a coworker you've been lusting after for three months. You:
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| Fall asleep in their arms. Aren't you coy?
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| Wait for the full moon, sprout fur and fangs, then pounce.
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| Spend the night in a bear cave, taking turns on the beds.
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| Come across a house made of edible panties, licorice cock rings and candy cane vibrators... Can't give away the ending can we?
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| Wait until you get back to civilization. Nothing will get you to lie down on a forest floor: who knows where that dirt's been?
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That evil crone in HR is threatening to blow the whistle on your workplace romance. You take action by:
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| Flaunt the romance all the more... living well is the best revenge!
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| Stealing her lunch out of the fridge.
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| Sticking her in the kitchenette microwave.
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| Doing anything to get under her skin
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| Doing nothing. She can work herself into a lather if she wants. What do you care?
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For that special someone's birthday, you get them a pastry that is:
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| Stuffed with a creamy filling that oozes suggestively out the side when bitten.
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| Best eaten raw out of the bowl, using your tongue as a squeegee.
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| coital breakfast in bed.
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| A gingerbread bondage dungeon.
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| Sculpted from porridge.
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Your best sexual experience:
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| Was on prom night, in the limo. Corny or what?
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| Was when you came home to the wrong house. Those suburban bungalows all look the same, but your neighbor sure looked different in the buff!
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| Took place on the way to Grandma's house. The taxi driver was shocked, to say the least.
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| Involved just about every candy ever made.
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| Happened while you were asleep. Damn!
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You just can't go to bed without:
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| Teddy
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| A snack tray for two
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| A robe, to keep the goodies hidden until needed.
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| Your Nyquil and Demerol cocktail. Zzzzzzz...
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| Lube, lotion, condoms, beads and plenty of scotchgard. Gotta get the jump on those stains!
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Your favourite way to get around is:
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| Get around? You mean there's life outside of bed?
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| Daddy's car, but you have to return it by midnight or he'll find out.
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| Skipping and strolling on your merry way through the Red Light district.
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| A trip to the drive thru. And yes... you'll have fries with that!
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| Traveling with the circus (those tiny bicycles are FUN!) |
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